Anger...relief...
She reversed the car and banged into the tree behind. It didn't register in her brain which was, at the moment, a whirlpool of thoughts and emotions. There was too much activity in her mind and yet, yet, she was numb. She'd just heard too much. Things she wasn't meant to hear and she had.
That's why they say eavesdropping is not a good thing to do, came a voice struggling from somewhere deep within that chaos turning around in her brain. She laughed mirthlessly, stepping on the accelerator. The needle climbed 40-50-70-...
She was way, way above the speed limit. Yet, right now, nothing mattered. All she wanted was to get away, far far away from what she'd heard. Only, the problem was, she didn't know how to get away from her thoughts.The words reverbated in her head.
She tried switching the thoughts off by turning the music up loud. Some non-descript band was belting out something inane. She tried to listen carefully and realized it was her favorite song! She tried to sing along, hoping the sound of her own voice would shut out the noise in her brain. But it didn't.
She drove around aimlessly and very detachedly watched the fuel needle wind down, almost close to empty. From somewhere, a thought of stopping by at a fuel station flew past and she started looking for one. She peered out of the window and realised she's been driving in circles and was on the same route as her everyday one. Creatures of habit, she chided herself, do not venture too far from the normal. She drove a little further till she arrived at her regular fuel station and asked the attendant there to top it up. His smile comforted her. Aah! The comfort of the routine and the mundane.
She shifted gears and pulled out of the fuel station. Remotely the bright lights of the place registered in her mind and she tried to think about all the strings of beautiful lights adorning peoples' houses on Diwali. Those strings turned into a blazing fire, the heat of which she could actually feel. She thought of a fire tender dousing it out and felt some water spray on to her face and she felt a little calmer.
She heaved a sigh and wondered what it was that suddenly made her forget what she'd heard. She pulled over to the side, leaned back into the seat and put her hands on her face. Only to feel her cheeks burning and tears coursing their way down.
That's why they say eavesdropping is not a good thing to do, came a voice struggling from somewhere deep within that chaos turning around in her brain. She laughed mirthlessly, stepping on the accelerator. The needle climbed 40-50-70-...
She was way, way above the speed limit. Yet, right now, nothing mattered. All she wanted was to get away, far far away from what she'd heard. Only, the problem was, she didn't know how to get away from her thoughts.The words reverbated in her head.
She tried switching the thoughts off by turning the music up loud. Some non-descript band was belting out something inane. She tried to listen carefully and realized it was her favorite song! She tried to sing along, hoping the sound of her own voice would shut out the noise in her brain. But it didn't.
She drove around aimlessly and very detachedly watched the fuel needle wind down, almost close to empty. From somewhere, a thought of stopping by at a fuel station flew past and she started looking for one. She peered out of the window and realised she's been driving in circles and was on the same route as her everyday one. Creatures of habit, she chided herself, do not venture too far from the normal. She drove a little further till she arrived at her regular fuel station and asked the attendant there to top it up. His smile comforted her. Aah! The comfort of the routine and the mundane.
She shifted gears and pulled out of the fuel station. Remotely the bright lights of the place registered in her mind and she tried to think about all the strings of beautiful lights adorning peoples' houses on Diwali. Those strings turned into a blazing fire, the heat of which she could actually feel. She thought of a fire tender dousing it out and felt some water spray on to her face and she felt a little calmer.
She heaved a sigh and wondered what it was that suddenly made her forget what she'd heard. She pulled over to the side, leaned back into the seat and put her hands on her face. Only to feel her cheeks burning and tears coursing their way down.
posted by ShaluBhuchar at
11:07 PM
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