Monday, March 03, 2008

Of Post Accident Syndromes

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And my car came to a stop. A scratched stop.

Since then, I've been shaking - laughing, joking, crying, walking, talking, eating, sleeping, constantly thanking God that we all came through unscathed...but shaking.

And now, since that moment of impact, I involuntarily relive the moment over and over, and my hands shoot out to brace myself. I see myself at the site and I tremble.

There's a dreadful calm in the pit of my stomach and yet this Parkinson's tremor in my hands. My shoulders are hunched, my muscles tight, and my nerves are on an end. I've woken up sleepy after sleeping this last night for 12 hours straight - and my head starts to hurt after 8!

I've been in an accident before, but I was happily sitting behind. Not in the driver's seat. This time it was different. I'd swerved to save myself from an oncoming vehicle from the wrong side - don't know where i'd got the strength - hit a divide and went straight under a truck which had run up the same divider.

The car was - smashed.

I looked at my car at the workshop and started crying - delayed trauma, as the owner of the workshop called it. We'd been THAT close to being dead. What if we'd lost our lives?

Totally kills my argument of "These things only happen to people who drink and drive. I'm a tee-totaller and a careful driver at that." My days of pompous claims are over.

Even my thoughts are jumbled and one tumbling out before the other.

The car's getting repaired. My soul's not.
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