Mist

Shams

Am I chasing the sun
Or is the sun waiting to engulf me?

Kya mei shams ki taqab mei hoon
Ya shams meri aagosh-e-firaaq mei hai?

Junoon

Meri rooh ka sannata
Tere ishq ke junoon mei
Kuch yoon syah hua:
Thori lali
Thori sargoshi
Kuch madhoshi
Bara kilol hua

The silence of my soul
Thus burnt to an ash-grey:
A bit of a blush,
A gentle whisper
Somewhat a trance
And a lot of play.

Waiting...

I waited
as the days turned to naught
a slant of light
falling on me, taunting me
or was it a caress of love?

Aqsar

हाँ अक़्सर तुम्हारी तस्वीर की देख लेती हूँ मै
तुम्हारी आवाज़ तो नहीं सुन सकती
पर तुमसे गुफ़्तगू कर लेती हूँ मै।

तुमहे छू नहीं सकती
पर तुम्हारा एहसास कर लेती हूँ मै।

तुमसे प्यार के दो बातें नहीं कर सकती
पर मोहब्बत महसूस कर लेती हूँ मैं।

तुम्हे देख नहीं सकती
पर तुम्हारे रूबरू हो लेती हूँ मै।

हक़ नहीं रहा अब तुम पर
बस, अक़्सर तुम्हारी तस्वीर देख लेती हूं मैं।।

Haan aksar tumhaari tasveer dekh leti hoon mei
Tumhaari avaaz to nahi sun sakti
Par tumsey guftagu kar keti hoon mei

Tumhey choo nahi sakti
Par tumhara ehsaas kar leti hoon mei

Tumsey pyaar ki do baatein nahi kar sakti
Par mohabbat mehsoos kar leti hoon mei

Tumhe dekh nahi sakti
Par tumhare rubaroo ho leti hoon mei

Haq nahi raha ab tumpar
Bas aksar tumhaari tasveer dekh leti hoon mei

Ishq...

Teri mohabbat ki madhoshi mei aisey huey badnam
Kuch teri yaad ne dil ko cheera hai
Kuch tanqeeddaaron ne zarra zarra taar taar kiya

तेरी मौहब्बत की मदहोशी में ऐसे हुए बदनाम
कुछ तेरी यादों ने दिल को चीरा है
कुछ तनक़ीद-दारों ने ज़र्रा ज़र्रा तार तार किया।।

Such infamy has the ecstacy of loving you brought me to
Some cuts were made by memories
Some critics, to tatters, slashed my very being

Reflection.

मेरे सरबराह कर ऐसी इनायत
तू रहे मेरा अब्र
मै रहूँ तेरी बूँदें, तेरा अक़्स,
तेरी लहर

O master grant this kindness to me
That i remain
A drop, a reflection, a ripple
to the cloud you be

Vakt...time...

कुछ वक्त तो गुज़रा है
यादें संजोये हुए
आँखें मूँदूं तो
एक पल भी नहीं।

Some time has flown by
Since we gathered these memories,
I close my eyes
And not a moment has passed...

जशन-ए-इश्क़

कुछ ऐसी है मेरे दिल की कहानी
मेरी आँखें ज़ाहिर तेरे दिल की जुबानी
जिस जशन-ए-इश्क़ के रक़्स में डूबी मेरी रूह
उसकी इब्तदा भी तू, उसका इख़्तिताँ भी तू

Paradoxically: What is Love?

...if not possession of another.  Thoughts. Time.  Body. Heart. The need to always be together. The constant craving of touch. The need to be validated or completed by the other.  

And the giving up of one's own freedom. Freedom to be. To think. To laugh.  To express. To desire.  To fly. To soar.

All because of the fairy tales we've been fed of how love is and must be. Of the man dashing in on a white horse, slaying all dragons; the woman sighing delicately and falling into his arms, face upturned, lips parted for that lingering kiss....

What if it was the other way round? What if the woman dove into a deep lake to save the drowning man? What if there were no saving required? What if they met and they laughed and they met other people and they laughed with them too?

What if the woman let the man know exactly how she felt and the man told her exactly how he felt? What if there were no mind games? What if all that happened was a mesmerising dance in conversation? What if no one wanted to be the bigger, better, the superior, the master?

What if all they did was make love to each other...mentally.  emotionally. And then made love physically? What if all there was, was only kind, passionate loving, the kind that makes galaxies explode and births new suns. ..

What if all there was, was the energy of that love?

And what if...What if we could BE love instead of BEING IN love?

....pondering. ..wondering. ...What if...

Transient life

कुछ ज़िन्दगी ने  

मुझ को उड़ाया 

कुछ ज़िन्दगी को मैं 

उड़ाता चला गया.… 

'twas sometimes life

that blew me away

and sometimes I 

that blew life away from me...

Khoj...vajood ki

कुछ अपना वजूद यूं
मैं परछाइयों में ढूंढ़ता रहा
यह याद न रहा
परछाई तो मेरी अपनी ही है

So lost was I in seeking
myself in shadows
I forgot
those shadows were mine...

Khoj

नमी ओस की बूंदों की 

और चाहत प्रेम की हरारत की 

खींचे मुझे नुक्कड़, कोर 

नई राहों, गली कूचों की ओर 

My quest for the cool warmth of love

leads me to explore

nooks, crannies, niches 

new alleys, avenues and more 

Crushed

an unbearable sadness that weighs

crushing even my shadow,

i inhale,

yet can't breathe,

i sob

and nary a sound

i fall

yet don't reach the ground...

this sadness

engulfing everything

snatching even my shadow away from me

उदासी इतनी गहरी 

मेरा साया भी कुचला जाए 

कश खींचूं 

पर साँस नहीं आए 

सिसकी लूँ 

आवाज़ नही आए 

गिरूँ 

पर भू न आए... 

ये उदासी 

सब कुछ खाए,

मुझसे मेरा साया भी 

खींचे चले जाए 

प्रत्याशा.... anticipation

 कुछ डर 

थोड़ी बेचैनी 

कुछ शर्म 

थोड़ी दबाई हुई ख़ुशी 

यह प्रत्याशा 

इस पावन लम्हे की 

दूध में पानी सी मिली हुई 

a little fear

a little anxiety

a little shyness

some barely-concealed excitement

This anticipation

of this beautiful day.... 

Like milk mixed with water...

New beginnings

जा मेरी नन्हीं परी 

अब तू पराई हुई 

go, my little angel

you are mine no more...