Why do we want to change people when we like them or are attracted to them for who they are and not who or what we perceive them to be?

Girlfriends wishing their boyfriends would like the same brand of music that they do, husbands asking their wives to stop wearing that pair of jeans they looks so hot in.

I just had ____ call me coz she was sick of her husband telling her to lose weight when he earlier used to call her "my cute chubby darling"! Is it a control thing? What is it that drives people into doing this, into playing mind games? Do we all set out with a, "let me deal with this as is right now and i'll ensure this doesn't happen/this gets changed later"?

What is the agenda that most people follow when they get into a relationship?Or is it only a few and am I generalising and again jumping to conclusions?Do most people, or only some, do these things or does everyone? Does it not get too claustrophobic? Or do two people in "love" bear with each other and give each other so much leeway that allows them to try and mould each other the way they want each other to be?

Relationships, as I understand them are all about exploring each other and helping each other grow, helping each other find out the essence of themselves individually and together. As I see it, it's all about bringing out the best and smoothing out the rough in each other. So is this ,"darling, why don't you...." or "Honey, have you tried..." just a means of smoothening out the rough? How would we smoothen out the rough and bring out the best in each other?

Hmmm...truly said...you need to be in the water to know how cold it really is and also to learn how to swim.

But, am I willing to be in a relationship just to try and learn? I don't know.