I write XXXI

Liberated:
Of the shackles
Of love
And lust
Of greed
And hunger
Of empathy
And apathy
Of rules
And stigmas
Of emotions
And feelings.

Soaring in the sky
My wings unclipped
High, high, higher
Above the clouds so white

My heart free
A slate wiped clean,

I write.

I write XXX

We're never helpless,
What we do have is a choice,
A choice to say yes,
A choice to say no,
A choice to say hello,
A choice to say goodbye.

God throws us lemon
We choose to make lemonade
Life brings its demons
We choose to throw up our hands and cry.

Of the power we have
When we choose to choose

Of the resolve
That allows us to let go and let loose

Of the strength
That make's us say, "I'll try"

Of all that, and more...
I write.

I write XIX

I think we as a country are a bunch of hypocrites. We burn Shetty-Gere effigies and elect rapists and murderers to office! We hug a "Whoa, lewinsky" moaning Bill Clinton, and throw newly-in-love stars-in-our-eyes couple in jail for holding hands. We tut tut at bikini clad Baywatch women and make our actresses wear nothing and white sarees and then make them stand under waterfalls. We squirm in our holier-than-thou seats at Ridge making love to Brook on a beach and yet we loudly claim the Kamasutra as our own from our glasshouse rooftops!

Of the girl who dared

To run around on a beach

In God's given glory -

Condemned to loathing

I write.

Of the man who chose

To hold his beloved's hand

Kiss her hard

And be stoned to death

I write.

Of the young who saw

The beauty of life

Chose to love

And were torn apart

By forces of ire

Self-proclaimed upholders of morality

Who kicked the boy

Drained the whisky glass

And raped the girl

Threw her in the ditch

Before heading out

To hold esteemed office

And sue the tramplers of morality

Of the murk behind the holier-than-thou facade,

I write.

I write - XXVIII

Love often bites

and love often stings

When talk begins

Of duties and rights

Then it's me, mine, I

Sometimes days through nights.

Sulking faces,

Troubled hearts

Slashed wrists

And swollen eyes

Of the pain that love sometimes can be,

I write.

- Apr24

I Write - XXVII

End of dark nights, welcome sunshine
Nothing is going to dampen
This buoyant, chirping spirit of mine.

Goodbye sadness, farewell gloom
Let's do away with the harbingers of doom
For it's time to pick
Fresh daisies and roses and dandelions
From gardens in full bloom.

I'm happy, there's a spring in my step
And a song on my lips
I pirouette, I pout and I take curtsey dips.

Oh there's a sunrise -
Freshness, newness in everything in sight
Come let's dance, let's sing
Let's hold hands together, let's fly
Let's celebrate all of it

Let's write!

I write - XXVI

It's that happy little sunbeam
Dancing in the heart
When we go back to something
We've created or written or said.

A radiant light
Spreading glowing, fuzzy warmth
With a million stars
Lighting up an inky black night.

Egged on, step by step
By these wonderful little pixies
Of pure delight
Taking a step in the dance of joy,

I write,

Aah bliss, I write!

I Write - XXV

So caught up are we
In this whole jamboree
Of day-to-day life
And "who said what to me"
We lose persepctive
And take for granted
Those who are around and will forever be.

Parents and siblings
Fade away in the crowd
Until in pain we scream out loud
And when we see
Everyone else walk the other way
The only ones by our side
Are those who,
While we tossed and turned
Or paced up and down
Or curled up tight or concentrated with a frown,
Held our hand, soothed our brow
And with us, stayed up all night.

And in belated celebration
Of these everlasting relations,

I write.

I write-XXIV

Stealing moments

From a packed day

To come to a place

Where like minded people come

To write

Of hope, of despair

Of disappointed love and singing hearts

Of joy at a new day

And sighs at a departed night

Of twists and turns

And of some silly fun

I join them in all of these

And stumbling through the lanes of memory

I Write.

I write - XXIII

Blushing cheeks
The rush of romance

Whispered sweet nothings
The coos and aah's

Walking down a cobbled street
The quick pirouette

Lowered lashes
The slight tremor in the hands

Soft sighs
The idyllic daydreams

Quickened senses
The racing of my heart

The first flush of love.

Aah, what a wonderful feeling,

Of which, I write.

I write - XXII

Breaking off from the past
Shrugging off the mantle of despair
Embracing a new tomorrow
To take a huge leap, I dare
Liberating myself of all shackles
Breathing in new life

I write.

I write - XXI

Been struggling all day
With a gamut of emotions -

Sad one second,
Happy the other moment,
Elated one hour
Deflated the next.

I try to keep them in perspective
And deal with them all
The very best way I can...

By Writing.

I write - XX

A glance across the room
We slowly move towards each other
As if in a trance
You engulf me into your warm embrace
And we melt into a slow dance

The world's vanished
I'm safe in your strong arms
My universe is here
Nestled in the wide expanse
Of your shoulders

Happiness sighs
And settles on me
Sadness is jealous
And in it's jealousy
Withers and dies

We move as one
Gently, to the music
From one song to another
As the starry evening
Blends into an inky night

Aah bliss!
As I look over your shoulder
And see the first rays of light
You've just given me
Yet another blissful moment

About which I write.

I Write - XIX

I reach out
Pick up my phone
Scroll down the list
Pause at your number
Move on to someone else's

And then -
A pang,
A memory, and I scroll back up
Stare at the number for a bit

Smile, at some thing funny you said
Grimace, at something horrid that you did

Miss you
But don't hit the green button

It'll be too painful, I know.

So I turn to the computer
And key my feelings away

I reach out for
My antidote to missing you.

And write.

I write - XVIII

I open my eyes
To a sunny morning
And chirping birds.
I stretch my languid form,
Happily lazy, yawning.
It's a bright new day
Yesterday's gone.

I spring out of bed
Ready to live this day: today
I clear out my head
And make space

For the warm rays on my face
For the fragrance of blossoming flowers
For the newness
I see in every thing, every place.

Time, I remind myself, to wipe yesterday's slate clean.

I pick up a new pen.

And write.

I write - XVII

The wind racing through my hair
Sunlight dancing on my lashes
Music strumming in my head
A song in my heart
Bursting through my lips

The deep rumble of thunder
A flash of lightning
Splattering raindrops
Freshly cleansed earth
-The fragrance lifting my spirits

Standing at the edge of a ledge
Jutting out at the river
My eyes closed
A smile on my face
My arms spread out to hug the world

From somewhere far off
Someone's calling out my name
The sound comes nearer
A hand shakes me
Forcing me to open my eyes

My dream's gone
I'm back in my room
Trying to fight off a deep ennui
Born of missing someone dear
I sigh as I pick up my pen

And write.

TMI

I write XVI

Of anger
And angst

Of despair
And fatality

Of apathy
And cruelty

Of doubling up
And passing out

Of vaccilating hope
And gut-wrenching pain

I write.

Playing God

I watched Parzania today. And it moved me to a torrent of tears. I'm still shaking with anger for what we as a society have become. We're playing God by giving life - cloning - and by taking life - killing, genocide, murder in the name of protection of rights and "My religion, My God" and so on.

And then we play helpless human. We sit cocooned in our worlds watching bullets whiz past people’s ears and shells whistle while they drop and blow up a young man’s limbs and we shake our heads and tut tut away. We feel sorry for the young man who’ll probably either die of gangrene or will never walk again and blame one man and his insatiable need for power. Then we change channels and watch another part of the world go at each other’s throats for a mere piece of land and we shake our heads and tut tut away. We feel sorry for mankind in general and go on with our lives. We pick up the newspaper and read about the extent to which a sick mind will go to to fulfill their fantasies. Turn the page and there’s more blood and gore displayed in full glory. And we shake our heads and mutter to ourselves, “What’s to become of this country? It’s gone to the dogs.”

And life goes on.

Do we do anything about it? No. Ask the question, “Why not” and you’ll get the answer, “…because the system is such. The country is in the hands of goons in the guise of politicians and the police do nothing.” I ask the question, “What do WE do about it?” Sadly, I join you in answering thus: WE bring the goons into power. WE perpetuate corruption by giving a fifty rupee note to the traffic policeman who caught us jumping the red light. WE fan the embers of fanaticism by saying things like “Muslim area, Hindu colony, Sikh school”. WE look the other way when we witness eve teasing. WE divide this country into Hindus and Muslims and Sikhs and Parsis and Marathas and Tamilians.

But for how long will we take this and do this? Till the day the blood that drips from some sword is ours?

And then it won't matter anymore.

We'd be reduced to nothing, from playing the Almighty God

Shelter for my unborn child

Give me one safe place for my unborn children – a shelter from the madness that religious fanaticism has become and the dark corner it has made the world.

Give me a city where there will be no bullets whizzing past my son’s ear. Where he’ll be able to play without the fear of being called a Hindu child.

Give me a piece of land where I will not chain my daughter to the threshold of our home past sunset. Where she’ll be able to walk free without the fear of being raped because she is a Muslim daughter.

Give me an address where people will believe in one religion – that of humanity and pray to one God – the Peaceful, Merciful One.

Give me a newspaper issue without blood, gore and dirt on its pages.

Give me a sensitive, tolerant world with the responsible freedom to do what one wants to.

Give me a world without wars and pillage and rape and power struggles.

Give me peace, give me safty, give me joy for my unborn child.

My day is bright when

...A butterfly flits across the landscape of my vision.
...I see someone - anyone - smile. That's one happier person in the world.
...It's Sunday and in my bed i'm curled.
...The sun shines.
...The rain falls, pitter patter plop.
...A ladybird - all red and orange and black scurries across the wide expanse of a leaf.
...A friend calls.
...I hear a favorite song.
...For anything I do not have to wait long.
...A child laughs and claps their hands in glee.
...Someone I care for hugs me.

I write - XV

I'm back -
With a bang
A new spring in my step
A brighter twinkle in my eye

New friends encourge
A new time beckons
New hope bubbles
New ink in my pen

I Write.

I write - XIV

The pitter patter of tiny feet
The melody of gurgles and coos
The shining stars in limpid pools
The little hands that reach out to you

The bursting of a flower bud
The droplets of rain quenching mother earth
The new leaf weighed down by dew
The first ray of the sun ending the night

Aah, forget the misery
There's so much beauty that makes me

Write.

I write - XIII

I look up
The moon is shining bright
But wait - what's this?
Why are the stars shining so bright?
Why are they blurring away?
Why are they twinkling again?
There's a cool breeze blowing,
Yet what's this warmth that I feel on my cheeks?
It's not raining, yet why does my face feel wet?

A line was crossed
A wall breached
I kept quiet then
Did not vent
Waited to alight
And shut the door
Absolutely tight...

There's so much more
That I need to let out
The only way I can
Is either through unseen tears
Or through my words

My tears, too precious
To be wasted on one
So insecure, a bully,
With his actions
Has me stunned

So, cry, I won't.

What I will do is

Write.

I Write - XII

Diatribe
Onslaught
Humiliation
Struggle
Defeat
Emotion
Conflict
Success
Failure
Sadism
Masochism
Benevolence
Satisfaction
Pride
Elation
Exhiliration

I go through them all
And yet I maintain my sanity
I keep my soul intact
The fabric that is me
Stays soft and free

I have been blessed
By the power to...

Write

I write - XI

Aching feet,
Trembling legs,
Shaking fingers

Still, I write.

Jumbled thoughts
Overwhelming things
Unrestrained emotions

Why I write.

A tired grin
An enveloping hug
The sun peeks out again

And so, I write.

I Write - X

Last night I took a small, but bold decision
I was angry and confused
I wanted the pain, the anger to stop
And so I did what I did.

I slept fitfully, tossing and turning
My subconscious mind
Signalling an inexplicable sense of loss
I wafted through the night.

A pink morning stole in, I hugged myself
Giving myself strength
Took a ray from the sun and put a smile in my heart
It's a new morning, a new day.

With some trepidation and lots of butterflies
Yet with a sense of control
With a spring in my step and a song on my lips
I embrace a resolute me.

I write.

I write IX

Deafening screams
Shrouding insecurities
Slamming accelerators
Screeching brakes

Hot temper
Cold fury
Trembling legs
Steady voice

Swallowing pride
Walking the tightrope
Forcing a smile

I write.