I write - XLVII

Of little pixies
Tiny elves
And naughty leprechauns
Turning cartwheels
In my head
Creating an incessant chatter
Ignoring my pleas to stop...

Of this cacophony in my head

I write.

Silence - XII

There's a deep silence
Welling up inside of me
Clamoring for space
In this incessant chatter
That goes on inside my head
Pushing, elbowing, jostling
Demanding, claiming, reclining

Destructive? Devastating? or
Peaceful and Encouraging?

What will it be - this deepening silence?

Silence - XI

Silence -

So loud, it threatens to burst your ears
So palpable, it makes your heart beat really fast
So poignant, it brings you to tears
So deep, it becomes difficult to fathom
So vivid, it drags you back into the past

Silence - rainbow silence.

Silence - X

The water coming and kissing my feet
And running back to join the sea
The breeze caressing my cheek
And joining back the rising wind
Sunbeams dancing on my eyelids
Leaving behind soft kisses
Wispy clouds floating by
Carrying with them my heartfelt wishes...

Nary a whisper, not a word aloud read
Yet volumes spoken
Messages passed, hands held...

Aah, such beauty in God's world
Aah, such love that's only felt.

Silence - IX

Waves crashing against rocks
Drumrolls being beaten
Bells chiming in crescendo
We reach the summit of love

And then,

Silence

I write - XLVI

I gaze
Into a pair of hollow green eyes
That stare right back at me
From a sunken face
- A face that has seen
none but 13 years
-A face that's lined
With hardship and grief
- Eyes that mock
My taken-for granted peace
- Lips, set in a thin line
Gushing forth an imposed silence

Scanning the face,
I turn back to the eyes
And as my heart
Becomes inexplicably melancholic
Wondering what all these
Haunting - haunted - wells of pain have seen

I write.

Silence VIII

A whirring fan
Water dripping from a tap
A droning TV
Somewhere, a blaring radio
Bangles clinking against each other
A long-drawn, loud yawn...

And all I can hear
As I sink my tired self
In my soft bed,
Missing you,

Silence,
Deep, hurtful, crushing

Silence.

I write XLV

...wounds, painful wounds
Wounds that hurt,
Wounds that kill
Wounds that take
Their own time to heal
Wounds that fester
Wounds that blood draw
Wounds that leave me feeling
Exposed, naked, raw
Wounds that remind
Of a time gone by
Wounds that passions
And anger ignite

Of these,

Your wounds
Which I pray
close, heal, and scars go away

I write.

I write - XLIV

I write...

Of a throbbing silence
Of palpable quiet
Of a sinking feeling
Slowly creeping up inside
Of impending doom
And blue-gray gloom

When suddenly
There's a burst of orange, green, yellow
I hear tinkling bells
In my mind, a new mantra
That I struggle with, yet recite

An excitement inside of me
A tingle in my toes
A new joy in my fingers
As they fly

When I write

Silence - VII

Aah the blush, the rush, the mush of love
Hours go by
Engrossed in silent conversation

Silence VI

Shrieking silence

From deep within

Reflecting in anger

Bubbling to the brim

Reaching out blindly

To grasp at wisps

Of those out of

My tentative reach

Voices all around



Sigh, too much sound


Watch quietly

Read in peace

Speak in whispers



Respect ...




...Silence

I write XLIII

So caught up
in everyday's rush
turbulence, maddness
battles galore

It dims the brightness
In my heart
When I need to use the cliche
And need to say

Alas, I find
No time to

Write

A woman should...

Know how to hold her head high
Know when to stop taking crap from the "man" in her life
Know when to be the man herself
Know how to strike the balance between being boss and wife
Know she's the rainbow in the sky
Know she's the one who, with love, makes men turn cartwheels
Know she's the wonder God made after His first try
Know she can be a heroine and a vamp, Snowwhite and the Witch Queen, a fairy and an elf
Know that finding her wings, she can surely fly...

I say, come what may,
Pelting rain and rolling boulders,
Every woman should definitely know her worth and love herself.

Silence V

Early Monday morning
To Dos
Pending stuff
Crisis
Voices chattering in my head

Like a addict
Waiting for his next shot
I crave…

For silence.

I write XLII

Puffed cotton clouds
Floating gently
In a lazy blue sky

Flitting from
One swaying sunflower to another-
A pretty butterfly

Tall thin blades of grass
Enveloping within
A cricket's whispered cry

Oh, of this idle day
Humming away

I write.

Silence - V

Benumbed
I watch
Through a haze of tears
That threaten to overflow
As an uneasy silence
Prevails.

I'm worried
About the uproar
That will follow.

Silence IV

A loud blast,
Mayhem,
Blood
Gore
Screams
Cries
Pleas
The loud clink of shattered dreams
Separation
Pain
Grief
Shock
Death

And then…

Silence

Silence III

It sighs softly
And settles down on me
Unobtrusively makes its presence felt
And yet lets me be me

It wraps its warm arms
Gently around my hungry soul
Soothes it like no one can or has ever before
And the calm lingers

A strange peace
Descends when it surrounds me
A perfect stranger,
Yet it's closest to me...

Silence.

I write - XLI

I whisper, “goodnight”
And settle down in his arms
Sated
Elated
Filled with calm love
Cuddled
Bundled
Enveloped with warmth.

He throws his leg
Around me, deep in sleep
Expressive
Possessive
Comfortable to just be
Smiling
Beguiling
Just perfect for me.

Of this deep bond
That incites and ignites

I write.

Silence - II

The waves of the sea
Come crashing against me
And I patiently take it all in silence

Drops heavy in rain
Come splattering against me
And I hungrily drink it all in silence

Drops weighed by pain
Meander slowly against my cheek
And I sadly wipe them away in silence

A lash of anger
Comes bursting against me
And I resignedly bear it all in silence

A wave of relief
Passes all through me
And I tremblingly thank the heavens in silence

Some silly words
Tickle my funny bone at work
And I supress my giggles in silence

Silence...
All surrounding, all pervading
All defining, all defying...

Silence

I Write - XL

What is this place
Where the willows bend...
Where the wind teaches dance steps...
Where the wind caresses my hair...
And sunlight dances on my eyes...
Where a small spray of water
Kisses my face...
Where the afternoon sighs
And the day strolls by...
Where warmth envelops me
In a bear hug...
Where the sun takes a bow
As evening glides in...
Where the stars sing
In celestial symphony...

Oh of the quest
For this wonderful place

I write.

Mother

You've stood by me whenever there was the need
You've always been there with a smile,
A frown, a kiss, a hug
You've trusted me even after very foolish deeds!
You've kissed my bruises
And held my nicks and grazes
You've wiped away my tears
And shooed away my fears
You've been the best ever guide
Long have been the nights
That you've stayed by my side
Long have been the hours
When after a fight
You didn't speak to me
Oh, i know I've been hell of a bother
And I know many-a times you might have thought,
"Damn, this can't be my daughter"
Yet you've always come back on tiptoe
Slowly, silently, peeking into my room
Just to see if I was tucked in well
Or was I still buried under a cloud of gloom

You've just been great,
All my life, mother,
And I know you'll continue to be,
And as I ask you,
For all my transgressions to forgive me;
I also want to say to you,

Ma, I appreciate everything that you do,
Mama, my lovely mother,
Always, forever,

I love you.

Silence...

Silence sometimes speaks
A thousand words, all weighed down
By a meaning and reason that's truly deep
Distance, anger, hurt, betrayal, unspoken love...
And yet, each silence has a different sound.

When it's cold, it's cold with anger,
When it's heavy, it's pregnant with meaning.
When it's tense, it's tense with words unsaid,
When it's palpable, it's because of feeling.

I ask - how silent is your silence?
Right now, on what is it built?
Distance, anger, hurt, betrayal, unspoken love
Unresolved emotions, Just plain comfort, or...guilt?

I write - XXXIX

For all those times
That I slept soundly
And you tossed and turned...

For all those times
That your soothing hand
Cooled me down as in fever I burned...

For all those times
You patiently gave
Reasons to my every "why?"...

For all those times
You made me laugh till
I had tears streaming from my eyes...

For all the times
That I almost faltered
But to carry on, you gave me strength...

For all the times
When I stood alone
And you've been my best friend...

For all the times
Every second of every moment
Of every day and night,

Mother, for the beauty that's you
For the strength that's you
For the love that's you
For the grace that's you
For the blessing that's you
For the angel that's you,

Mother, for you,

I write.

I write- XXXVIII

Silver bells
On dainty feet
Tinkling away a melody
Lilting, sweet
Building cadence
Reaching its peak.

In the cacophony of chaos
Bringing respite

-Of simple sounds
That calm me down...

I write.

I write - XXXVIII

A divine light
That illuminated me
My eyes closed
Yet I could clearly see
A celestial dance
Some twists, some turns
Fascinated
I joined the purl
Delighted, excited,
Elated, ecstatic,
Free...

All around me
Gaiety, abundant joy,
Merrily twinkling lights...

Of that euphoria,
The exhilaration, effervescence
The Shangri-La, the Nirvana,
And then- bissful calm,

I write.

I write - XXXVII

I write
Of the people who God beckons
And without a murmur
They follow

I write
Of the people who get left behind
To pine for them and deal
With their sorrow

I write
Words of condolence
Knowing they can change nothing
But just be a balm

I write
Prayers that help them forget
Or at least remember, with some semblance
Of peace and calm.

I write - XXXVI

Crushing an ego
Trampling a heart
Walking all over
Without a blink
Ripping confidence apart.

Vengeance leading to
Redemption bringing
Peace

I write.

I write - XXXV

I turn on the TV
Only to find a slew of channels
Showing men - and women -
In various shades of ochre
The color of ascetics, I'm told
Intrigued by them
I decide to listen to one
Ten minutes later
I've only heard what I did
When I was all but three -
Don't do wrong
Don't lie
Don't envy
Don't steal
Don't hurt
Do love
Do forgive
Do pray
Do thank
Do believe...

And all this is supposed to set me free?

With that question,
My mind goes to a night
Not a week ago
When I heard a voice that said
"Know thyself
Love thee
Of this abundant beauty around us
Sing, dance,
Clap your hands in glee"

There's this inexplicable anticipation
That does excite
I've set out on the quest
And as my first step

I write.

I write XXXIV

There's a whirlpool
That's pulling at me
With a silent whoosh
It's deafening me
I throw my hands up
Trying to push back with all my might
Forgetting the pull of gravity
There's no getting out of this plight
I think of the good times of my life
And smile away, then realize
I might not see the light of another day!
Struggling, gasping for breath,
Getting tired, I want to give up the fight

But I want to live
Says a strong voice from within
And live I will, alright.

I thrash my legs
And open my eyes that were
till now shut really tight.

I push myself out of that bottomless pit of despair

And I come here and write.

-May2

I write XXXIII

Don’t hold me back
I want to soar
The universe beckons
And I want more
The song of the twilight fades
Sunbeams begin their dance
Taking firm steps
I break free of the gossamer
That’s restrained me in a trance
I know the strength of my will
In my redemption I delight,

Wearing the power of my freedom
Like an evening coat around my shoulders

I write.

I write - XXXII

My heart's laden with grief
And I have a smile on my face
My mind's turbulent with anger
And I walk admist a crowd
With a serene look and gentle grace
There's an ocean of silence inside
And I chatter nineteen to the dozen
There's complete darkness in my soul
And in my eyes, brightness I emblazon
A crushing weight around my shoulders
And I walk with my head held upright.

Of charades and facades
And protection walls,
And the real me behind these...

I write.