Friday, June 30, 2006

Football and other such maladies

What is it about football that turns men into tv bozos - actually just simple bozos. I've seen passion for other sports as well. But nothing to beat the hysteria that football generates. There's no other talk during the World Cup month - whether it's the cafeteria, or a meeting room just before or after a meeting or even cars, cabs and buses. My friends refuse to talk to me when matches are on. Hell, some of us even start fighting! I'm sure many-a relationship goes through a trying time just because of these matches.

To find out, I sat through with my father and my brother today to watch the Argentina-Germany match. I started out a non-believer. I ended a convert.

I started out with wondering what was so cool and frenzy-inducing about a game where all these men ran around a vast field ramming into and bruising each other all for the sake of a mere ball.

By the time Ayala shot his firt goal, I'd chewed on the brains of the males in my house enough to figure out what the rules - or lack of them - of the game were. And then everytime the damned referee did not give Germany a yellow card, I'd curse him!

Don't know why, but somehow Argentina became my favored team and I was marveling at the nimble footedness of the players and if I'd so much as see a German player get close to an Argentinian, I'd scream!

Over the course of the game, my father told me about which kick was a good one and why very patiently. It's a fairly simple game really, if you put your mind to it. Not much to understand there, like in cricket.

I'm obviously a baby as far as knowing the game is concerned. But one thing is for sure. I'm definitley staying up tomorrow to watch the match between Brazil and France.

The fact that I felt this sense of loss when Argentina lost the penalty shots was an underline on the fact that today I am a football convert.

Did I hear the ladies hiss 'traitor'?

Saturday, June 10, 2006

My perfect date...

'So, describe your perfect date to me.' 'Walking down the beach...'

I stood there at the beach, with the moonlight making everything etheral and lovely. The faint silver light in the sky, the darkening of the horizon, the vast sea stretched out in front of me like a deep, dark -yet soft - blanket that had silver trimmings at its edges. The slow, deep sound of the sea stirring something inside of me while calm enveloped me like a father's hand around a child's finger.

As I stood there, I thought of strolling down this beach with someone who could share this peace with me...just holding hands, in step with each other, in tune with each othes thoughts, feeling the waves come and caress our feet as we stood there, looking out at the sea, no words exchanged....


...till OW! Something bites on of us on our big toe.

OK...this does not happen in my perfect date. What did happen is that as I stood there, drinking in the beauty of the moment and dreaming of my perfect date with my eyes open and my senses heightened, I saw what looked like big - and small - bubbles rolling out of the waves that rushed to the shore and retreated equally quickly -like an errant husband who goes to meet his mistress, but time spent, then rushes back home to the warmth and comfort of his beloved wife.

Ok, I digress.

So, these "bubbles" turned out to be ...hold your breath...CRABS...and I don't mean the ones that lie benignly on your plates waiting to be devoured. I mean real, live, scamepering-across-the-beach-and-into-the-water ones that would devour YOUR big toe if threatened ones.

I stood there, scared and fascinated at the same time. These were sand crabs that could camouflage themselves and take on the color of the sand when on it and fool you with their color. What fascinated me more was the speed with which they could dig themselves into the sand. Here one second, gone deep into the sand the other, leaving behind a gaping hole.


I watched them for what seemed like the longest time, with my heart thudding away at the prospect of one coming and kissing my feet. I am quite possessive of my big toe...and all the others as well, you see.

And that signaled to me the need of finding a new "perfect date". It's sure as anything not going to be on a beach any more.

Ideas, anyone?


Wednesday, June 07, 2006

...with broken wings I know i'll die... Godsmack, in their song 'running blind'...

How often do we set our sights - and our poor hearts - on something and see it fade away before our eyes? And everytime that happens, our hearts break and a small little piece falls off, leaving the poor thing to bleed. But do we die? We wither away, we fade away, but we live.


And since we're living, we deal with things. How then, do we deal with it? I know I deal with it in myriad ways - sometimes I go absolutely quiet and on other occasions I go on a a fun-binge - if there is such a thing. I immerse myself in doing things that give me a feel good factor. I'll go shop, watch a lot of movies, meet up with friends who I haven't seen in a while, write, paint, cook - AND eat :D. Sometimes i'll go and explore a new thing like a new genre of music...

How do you deal with it?
may i feel said he
(i'll squeal said she
just once said he)
it's fun said she

(may i touch said he
how much said she
a lot said he)
why not said she

(let's go said he
not too far said she
what's too far said he
where you are said she)

may i stay said he
(which way said she
like this said he
if you kiss said she

may i move said he
is it love said she)
if you're willing said he
(but you're killing said she

but it's life said he
but your wife said she
now said he)
ow said she

(tiptop said he
don't stop said she
oh no said he)
go slow said she

(cccome?said he
ummm said she)
you're divine!said he
(you are Mine said she)


:) Not classic e e c, but how simply put in words - the struggle to keep up social pretences, yet to indulge in what the heart - and the body - so strongly, so urgently desire...the same language of desire, the same words spoken the world over...

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Life

Like a friend just said....Life is like a black man's left ball....it's neither right, nor fair....so live on, honey...and smile away!

Monday, June 05, 2006

Why do we want to change people when we like them or are attracted to them for who they are and not who or what we perceive them to be?

Girlfriends wishing their boyfriends would like the same brand of music that they do, husbands asking their wives to stop wearing that pair of jeans they looks so hot in.

I just had ____ call me coz she was sick of her husband telling her to lose weight when he earlier used to call her "my cute chubby darling"! Is it a control thing? What is it that drives people into doing this, into playing mind games? Do we all set out with a, "let me deal with this as is right now and i'll ensure this doesn't happen/this gets changed later"?

What is the agenda that most people follow when they get into a relationship?Or is it only a few and am I generalising and again jumping to conclusions?Do most people, or only some, do these things or does everyone? Does it not get too claustrophobic? Or do two people in "love" bear with each other and give each other so much leeway that allows them to try and mould each other the way they want each other to be?

Relationships, as I understand them are all about exploring each other and helping each other grow, helping each other find out the essence of themselves individually and together. As I see it, it's all about bringing out the best and smoothing out the rough in each other. So is this ,"darling, why don't you...." or "Honey, have you tried..." just a means of smoothening out the rough? How would we smoothen out the rough and bring out the best in each other?

Hmmm...truly said...you need to be in the water to know how cold it really is and also to learn how to swim.

But, am I willing to be in a relationship just to try and learn? I don't know.

Sunday, June 04, 2006

I just took the MBTI questions online. Turns out I'm an ENFP type. This is what it has to say about my "type":

"Creating order out of chaos" is one extraverted thinker's way of describing her volition. Determined, logical, critical, they love a challenge, especially one that will allow tangible improvement in productivity, efficiency or profitability. They are direct, finding the quickest, most direct path between what is and what should be. They excel at implementing ideas and are often on the lookout for good ideas worthy of their attention.

They are quick to organize, orchestrate, find resources, coordinate, and follow through to the end of a project. They love a problem, especially one that will make full use of their competencies, their logic and sense of order, justice and fair play.

Many find competition to be stimulating and fun. "These are the rules of the game. Now let us play." Fairness is sharing and respecting the same set of rules, so may the best one win. And since they readily acknowledge that there will be a winner and a loser, they would simply much rather be the winner. So they hone their strategies on the fine knife of experience and sharpen their skills to meet the next challenge head on.They love having greater challenges bestowed on them as a result of having successfully met the last, as this attests to their competence and skills.

They appear dispassionate because of their impersonal and objective approach, but close observation will reveal deep passion and enthusiasm as well as sensitivity, especially to cherished ones. However they expect others to roll up their sleeves as they do and meet the task in spite of personal hardships or discomfort.

They have little tolerance for personal whims that threaten a smooth running operation. They are direct and honest with most things that displease them and expect others to do the same. Their humanity shows in their sense of fairness and justice as well as their love of humour.

Of all this, I think the only one I don't find completely true about myself is about the competition bit. I love competition, but I wouldn't kill for it. I'd much rather work at my own pace and if I find someone is desparate to outstrip and out run me...hey, you're welcome to it. For me...slow and steady definitely does win the race.

And my GOD...i'm becoming a recluse. Stuff which I'd normally talk about face to face with a human being, I'm now pouring out in an electronic format which I know no one will ever read!
Well, just as well for most part. Not too many people understand my thoughts, anyway. :D
And this is one of mine, I know it doesn't rhyme. It's just my thoughts, my feelings:

Your hand in my hand
Intertwined fingers

Caressing each other
That spoke of the raging passion within

You across the room
Your gaze locked with mine
A message sent without words
Of rushing adrenalin

Closed doors
Whispered sweet-nothings
Leading to confusion
And now my world's in a spin...

Now my world's in a spin.
I carry your heart - E. E. Cummings

I carry your heart with me, I carry it in my heart
I am never without it, anywhere I go you go, my dear;
And whatever is done by only me is your doing,my darling
I fear no fate for you are my fate, my sweet
I want no world, for beautiful - you are my world, my true
And it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
And whatever a sun will always sing is you
Here is the deepest secret nobody knows
Here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
And the sky of the sky of a tree called life;
Which grows higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide
And this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart


I carry your heart with me, I carry it in my heart.

I read E.E.Cummings after some inane movie that I saw. It starred Cameron Diaz. She read this piece of poetry at her sister's wedding. And I googled E.E. It was love at first read. And the love hasn't changed.
THIS is how I want to bring up my children. Give them full freedom to do what they please. But teach them to think about what's right and what's not. I wouldn't say "what's wrong" because what I perceive as wrong might be the thing that fits perfectly for someone else. I want to let my children play in the sand and come back all muddy and soaking wet, but then teach them to hit the bathroom straight and to mop up the mess they made walking in. I'm going to tell them to smoke and drink if they will...but only for the right reasons - and that i'd rather they tried it out with me and their father (Heavens, I hope the man I get married to will understand my thought process and go along with it!) before they try it out with their friends. Hopefully my children will not be the kinds that brag, but the kinds that fly the skies yet keep their feet firmly grounded in the earth. I'm obviously going to give them good education, but i'll tell them that it doesn't matter that they haven't got a cent percent grade, what matters is that they're intelligent people who understand the reasons and logic behind why things happen or don't the certain way that they do or don't. I'm going to let them eat what they want to, as long as they can learn to balance it with what's good for them...read all greens :D

What brought on this thought? When I saw a mother hopelessly fail at managing her kids this morning at brunch. God there's so many different thoughts today and i'm going to put them all here.
Have you ever repeated something that you've just said? I seem to do it all the time. Just that i've become conscious of it only lately. And since then i've also started wonderinfg if other people do it too or am I the only one.

And if i'm the only one, ohmigwad! What do you think of when you're speaking to me and you hear me repeat myself?What goes through your mind? Coz what goes through mine is WHY did I just repeat myself.

I think why did I say that again?


So, why did I just repeat myself?
Free Color Picker With VMN Toolbox